So I'm sitting here at my desk in the den thinking about what is going on for me professionally. I have a ton of work related paperwork to be doing that I am behind on but don't feel like doing any of it. Instead I feel like thinking about my career, where it was, where it is now, and where it is going.
Five years ago we moved our family a few hundred miles and two states from where I had spent all my life so that my wife could take a job where she could make a reasonable wage while still working a reasonable amount of hours. It required me leaving a job that I thought I would retire from, a job that would be the rest of my career. By a large the move my family and I made 5 years ago has been positive in all ways with the exception of my professional life.
While my job before the move was not perfect, it was by far more challenging clinically, more respected, and certainly more satisfying in a lot, but not all, ways. I left the job I initially took after a number of unprofessional incidents with the ED Medical Director including him writing narcotic orders on the back of my shirt when I asked for them in writing. I took a job with my local volunteer service as their Operations Coordinator and have like a lot of aspects of the job but find it lacking on some of the areas that made me happy with my job before the move. I miss being busy. I miss being clinically challenged. I miss being responsible for things. The reality is that this service does 10% of the call volume that I did before we moved. Clinically we are more advanced in a few areas but in the larger scale the statewide protocols are written to the lowest common denominator and form an impenetrable barrier to many areas of clinical advancement that I would like to see. While my title, "Operations Coordinator", may sound like I have responsibility for operations the reality is that the position has turned out to be almost an advisory position. I work on many things and end up reporting to the Vice President of Operations or the General Manager who ultimately make the decisions. More often than not the decisions are not what I have researched and sometimes are completely contradictory to what I recommended. I am finding that I have little responsibility of my own even though I have more operational experience than either of the people I have to report to.
Lately I have found myself wondering what I should do to start advance my career again. One of the things I have considered is going back to graduate school and completing a Masters Degree in Emergency Services Management and Disaster Planning. Would it help me in my current position? That is unclear, perhaps it would give me additional credibility and allow what finally gets implemented here to more closely resemble what I have recommended. Perhaps it would put me in a better position should the management here get restructured or perhaps it would make me more marketable to another organization in the future. I'm not sure.
The other thing I have considered is a change in positions. While in this area that is difficult as much of EMS in this state is fire service based and I am too old and too out of shape to start a fire service career now. EMS only positions are few and far between.
An opportunity did cross my desk this morning that has me wondering. The email came across today announcing an ALS Shift Commander position for "The Big Red Machine" in the area who is expanding into new territory. Now, before people get riled up, I have worked for "The Big Red Machine" before and am under no misconceptions that they are the ideal company. They, like any other commercial service, are motivated by the bottom line, make the most money you can while spending the least amount possible to deliver a product that meets the minimum standard. That is the nature of for profit EMS. But honestly this is the same motivation for most services, no matter where they are based, the bottom line is what is most important. I understand that and accept that that is the reality of today where EMS funding is tight and relies so heavily on insurance reimbursement.
I'm torn, torn for multiple reasons. First, I spent a long time in the earlier part of my career trying to break out of commercial EMS. Second, I really like working so close to home and in the community where I live. But a position like this would promise vastly increased call volume and a level of responsibility that would probably be greater than I have now.
What I really need to to touch base with some of my mentors. Problem is that most of them are long retired and a couple are dead. The only one who remains in EMS is actually senior management at the company I am looking at. Can I get objective feedback from him? I hope so.
I had always thought that by this time in my career I would be well situated in a solid position to work in until it was time for me to retire. It's a little embarrassing to find myself feeling like my professional life is a shambles.
